His Mine
by DBZ AWESUM
Summary: James has always had feelings for Logan. Logan has always had feelings for James. But both are to afraid of rejection to make the first move. What happens when James' sister comes for a visit? Will one of the get the courage to make the first move?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **I don't own BTR or any of its characters.

**A/N: **Hi! I have had this idea for a while, but I wasn't sure how to start it off, I hope it's too bad. On with the story!

* * *

**James' P.O.V**

"You did what?!" he shouted at me, eyes wide in shock and horror.

"I cancelled your date with Camille" I shrugged.

"Don't do that!" he shouted angrily.

"Do what?" I asked acting innocent.

"You know exactly what you are doing"

"I just cancelled your date, no big deal"

"No big deal" he said with so much anger I half expected laser's to shoot out of his eyes.

He looked at me for a while and then left without saying another word. **Ok, I think I might have gone a bit overboard, but why is he so angry over a date with Camille? Does he like her that much?** I dreaded the answer to those questions.

I headed towards Logan's and Carlos' room and knocked "Logan, you in there?"

I heard sniffling, so I opened the door. Logan was lying on his bed, face down in his pillows, shoulders shaking. I walked over and sat down on his bed, my hand rubbing his back.

"I'm sorry, Logan. If I knew you liked her this much I wouldn't have cancelled your date" I said, my heart breaking at every word I spoke.

"I-It's n-not th-that" he said stuttering

"Then what is it?" I asked confused

"She was the only one in the Palm Woods that actually thought...thought I was attractive"

I looked at him dumbstruck. **If only you knew how wrong you are, Logan**.

"Logan, I'm sure that's not true" I said, my voice soft. He sat up and looked at me with tear stained eyes.

"But, James, it is" he said, fresh tears falling "You wouldn't understand"

"Why wouldn't I?"

"James" he said surprised "You have to know how breathtaking you are, and I'm just...me" he said looking down.

**Logan thinks I'm breathtaking**.I blushed. That's when I realized what Logan said about himself. I moved closer to him, as close as I would dare, and placed my hands on his face, repositioning him to look me in the eyes.

"Logan" I said slowly "I know for a fact that at least one person, other than Camille, finds you attractive"

"Really?" he asked, his face full of hope "Who?"

**ME** "I can't tell you. I promised her I wouldn't" His face dropped for a second, just for a second, but I noticed. I didn't know what it meant, but I noticed.

"Fine" he said pouting "Thanks, you're best" he said hugging me before leaving the room.

**Logan, I want to beat all your insecurities away, so you can see what I see. So you can see how beautiful you are**.

I know I shouldn't be thinking like that, because I am one of his best friends but I can't help it.

Suddenly my cell phone rings. I take it out and stare at the screen in horror. Mom flashing red on the screen, the colour seemed fitting.

"Hello?" I answered a bit afraid, but if I was being completely honest I was very afraid.

"James" she said uncharacteristically happy "How have you been?" she asked.

"What happened? Is everything ok?" I asked starting to panic.

"Everything's fine. Can't a mother call her son to find out how his doing?" she asked heartbroken. I almost fell for it, almost.

"Seriously, mom, what's wrong? You're freaking me out" I said panic now taking me by the throat.

"Fine' she sighed "Your sisters coming to visit" And panic squeezed.

My phone fell to the floor with a thud **Oh shit! Oh shit! Why me?!**

It's been over three years since I last saw my sister. When she left for private school, I know I shouldn't have been but I was ecstatic. I just really hated her and I know everyone says that about their siblings one time or another, but then take it back. Not me, I hate her. Not because she always got what she wanted or that she was my mom's favourite, but because she wanted to steal my Logan away from me. That was when I actually realized my feelings for him and accepted it. But the worst thing had to be that Logan seemed to share her feelings. Spending almost all their time, I felt so ignored by Logan that I would cry myself to sleep every night. And then it happened. She left. And I got my Logan back, but I felt like he rejected me and every time I use to look into his eyes, I looked away as soon as I could. Every time he touched me, even if just to tap me on the shoulder, I tensed up and shrugged him off immediately, and he noticed. Then he became distance as well. I started missing those touches. We spent a whole week ignoring each other, if we passed by each other in the halls of our school we would just look down and walk on. It was torture. I would have given up, but I was very stubborn. Luckily, Kendall convinced us to be friends again, not that I needed convincing.

There's a knock at the door and I feared the worst. I wouldn't put it past my mother to tell me something that was just about to happen, that way I couldn't say no.

I ran out of my room just as Kendall answered the door. I could feel the fear returning, not that it left, and taking me over. I started shaking, watching Kendall open the door. It seemed like he took forever to open the door. **No! She's going to take my Logan away from me again**. The door was halfway open, but from where I was I could only see brunette hair. **Please no**. I started shaking even more now. I felt a hand on my shoulder and immediately relaxed. I could feel the heat of his hand through my shirt. There was just something about Logan's presence that made me relax now, not like in Minnesota all those years ago. I wanted to push myself backwards against Logan and feel him behind me, grinding his hips against me. I blushed at that picture. Definitely not like Minnesota.

"Hey, buddy, are you ok? If it's about Camille don't worry about it" he said and I turned around to look at him "Besides, I have to be single for this supposed girl that finds me attractive" he said smiling. **Logan, kiss me now**. That's when I realized he still didn't believe me, granted it wasn't a girl, it was me, but still.

"You dare doubt James Diamond" I said making my voice deeper. Logan giggled and I smiled. I love that sound.

"I do dare" he said trying to make his voice deep, but he kept laughing. **You are just too adorable for words**.

"Logan, it's for you" Kendall said. I almost forgot about my appending doom. I turned around slowly and let out an audible sigh. It was Camille. It was Logan's turn to look afraid. I just wanted to hug him and never let him go, and to tell Camille 'no you can't have my Logie', but I didn't. All I did was patted him on the back and sent him onto the battle field. The first thing Camille did was slap Logan. She was lucky I was controlling myself; otherwise I would have slapped her back for slapping my Logie. Ok, I wouldn't have, but I can still think about doing it.

* * *

**Logan's P.O.V**

I rubbed my cheek where Camille slapped me, not surprised in the least.

"Hey, Camille" I said trying to smile.

"Don't you hey me" she said angrily crossing her arms across her chest "If you didn't want to go on a date with me you could have just said so, you didn't have to send James to do your dirty work"

"It wasn't so much my choice..." I began trying to explain.

"Oh really" she said and I knew this wouldn't go well "Next you going to tell me James sabotaged our date"

"Well..."

"Unbelievable" she said walking away in long, angry strides.

"Camille, wait" I said and she showed me the finger in response. I sighed, **there goes my anchor**, and shut the door "Thanks a lot, James" I said crashing on the coach next to James.

"My pleasure" he said grinning. I rolled my eyes in response, but smiled. **How can you be so perfect, James?** The thought didn't bother me; I always thought he was gorgeous. It's not like I always thought about kissing his lips, while he put his hand through my hair. And then he would moan my name making me want him more. No it's not like I did that. I'm hopeless; I can't even convince myself I don't have feelings for him.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked. I hadn't even noticed how close we were sitting. It would have been awkward if I didn't enjoy being so close to him.

"You" I said without thinking. My eyes kept wondering everywhere else except James. He looked at me surprised and then smiled. There was something in his eyes which made me think he was up to something.

"Logan" he whispered huskily in my ear. **God!** "I didn't know you thought of me in that way" He licked my ear and then blew. **James, please**. He then kissed me on the cheek, got up and left for his and Kendall's room.

**I think I'm going to pass out**.

* * *

I sighed, staring out of the widow and looking at the busy street, watching people coming home from work to their spouses and loved ones. I want that, I want someone who cares for me, someone who misses me. I want love. I like James, more as a friend but I wouldn't say I am in love with him, although I can't really explain these feelings I have for him. Anyway even if I do love him, he wouldn't feel the same. I sighed again and placed the warm, bittersweet concoction to my lips.

"I know that look" a red haired girl said taking the seat opposite me "What's up?"

"Hey, Emily, nothing's wrong" she grimaced and I smiled.

"I told you its Em, my parents call me Emily"

"Ok, Em" I said putting down my mug and making air quotations, before picking it up and taking a greedy gulp "I really love your coffee. It has a unique taste; it's bitter and sweet at the same time. What's your secret?"

She giggled and drew two fingers across her lips and twisted, as if she was locking a door, and throw the key away. I found this coffee shop about three weeks ago and it feels like Emily and I have been lifelong friends. The first time we met, I had been having a bad 'James' day, he kept rubbing against me and touching me, I knew it was in a friendly way, but it felt as if he was doing it just to torture me. With the combination of her friendliness and her amazing coffee, she broke me or rather I broke down. I told her everything from me being gay to James torturing me. She hugged me and my tears started falling. I kept apologizing for unloading like that, but she just shushed me. I come at least three times a week to have coffee and talk. The gang doesn't know about this place, so I don't have to worry about James suddenly walking in.

"Don't try to distract me. You usually come in the morning; the only time you come in the afternoon is when something is bothering you, or rather someone?"

I looked everywhere except at Emily, but she was relentless. She could always get me to talk.

"Yes, its James and you won't believe what happened" I continued, telling her about how James cancelled my date with Camille and what he said to almost make me pass out.

"It's so obvious, Logan, he wants you. He cancelled your date because he was jealous" she said screaming like a fan girl.

"No, please don't do that" I said my voice taking a serious tone "Don't make me think there is a possibility he might feel the same, don't make me think there's hope. I can't handle being rejected, not after..." I couldn't even finish the sentence before tears started falling. Emily got up from her seat and hugged me.

"It's ok, I understand, but I still think you the dumbest smart person I know" she said smiling and I smiled with her, wiping my tears with my sleeve.

* * *

**A/N: **How was it? Should I continue? Did it bore you? Please leave a review and tell me what you thought and if it is even worth updating.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **I don't own BTR or any of its characters.

**A/N: **Hey guys! I know that this chapter is shorter than usual, but I thought that it was a great place to stop. This chapter continues from where the last ended, at Emily's coffee shop.

* * *

**Logan's P.O.V**

"So Camille slapped you?" Emily asked when I calmed down.

"Yeah" I answered.

"I never understood why you went out with her when you had feelings for James"

"She was my anchor" I simply stated.

"Anchor?"

"Even though I had feelings for James, I also had feelings for Camille" She looked at me with shock in her eyes "Let me finish" I chuckled "My feelings for Camille weren't as strong as the ones I have for James. At the beginning it was difficult, but after a while I figured it out, a way to ignore my feelings"

"Logan!" she said, her eyes filled with shock yet again "What have I told you before? You can't ignore your feelings!"

"And yet it worked for me" I said rolling my eyes.

She groaned, her irritability clearly showing. I could see she wanted to get up and leave, but because there were no customers and her curiosity, she stayed.

"I didn't so much ignore my feelings, I just projected them on to Camille" She looked at me confused "Whenever something happened, like if I saw James shirtless, which happens a lot, I would call Camille and we would make out"

"Oh" Emily said "So you ran away from your feelings"

"I didn't run!"

"Sure" she said getting up "And you still not running" she said under her breath, but I heard.

* * *

**I'm not running, am I? **I sat down on the grass, watching the sunset. After my conversation with Emily, I took a walk through the park. I'm not running from my feelings, I'm just . . . choosing not to acknowledge them, or trying to at least. James is like super hot and has a reputation of broken hearts following him. I don't want to be one of those broken hearts, because it wouldn't just destroy our friendship, but our friendships with Kendall and Carlos as well, if they even accept us. What am I saying! James isn't gay; he's a lady's man.

A ball to the face knocked me out of my thoughts. It wasn't a hard blow, but it did hurt. I grabbed the ball and stood up furious, ready to get my revenge when two kids walked up to me. They both looked about six years old, the one taller than the other. The shortest had brunette hair with deep green eyes, hidden behind a pair of spectacles, while the tallest had blonde hair and hazel eyes.

My anger disappeared when I saw they were holding hands.

"So-sorry mister" the brunette stuttered.

I stepped forward with the intention of giving there ball back, when the tallest one rushed in front of him, blocking my path, as if to protect him from danger.

"He said he was sorry" he said forcefully as if he was ready for a fight, their hands still intertwined. I smiled and threw the ball there way, backing away slowly with my hands in the air. He grinned and turned around; the brunette rolled his eyes but smiled as well. I giggled and turned around. **Memories, James and I were just like these kids. **I looked up to the sky as if I would see a slide show of James and I running away from bullies, because James stood up to them, trying to protect me but it back fired.

But the sky was dark and I realized how late it was. **What kind of parents would let their children play outside when it was dark already? **I turned back around.

"You guys should get home, its dark already"

The brunette looked up into the sky and frowned. "I didn't know it was so late" he said to me and then spoke to his friend "We should probably get home.

"My mom's not home yet, can I stay at your house?" his friend asked shyly.

"Of course" he smiled.

They ran away holding hands.

* * *

When I opened the door I was greeted by silence and darkness, except for a dim light coming from the television. I slowly walked into apartment 2J and headed towards the television, but there was no one on the coach.

"H-hello?" I asked a bit afraid now. Suddenly the apartment went completely dark for a moment, someone or something passed in front of the television. I was in full out panic mode now. I ran for the door, my hand on the handle, when I felt something grab me from behind and I let out an unmanly scream. I didn't dare move as I felt arms wrap around my waist and hot breath on my ear. It then giggled. **Wait, I know that giggle**. I turned around.

"You jerk!" I shouted banging my fists against his chest. He leaned over and flipped a switch, and the apartment flooded with light. It took my eyes only a short while to adjust to the light, before I was banging on his chest again, looking into his hazel eyes "I was really scared, James" I said looking to the floor.

"Aww, come on Logan, it was only a joke" he said lifting my head with his finger. We stared into each others, not saying a word. We stood like that for at least two minutes before he broke the silence "Mrs. Knight and the guys went out for supper" he said walking to the couch before crashing on it.

"How come you didn't go with them?" I asked taking a seat next to him.

"Because I was waiting for you, silly" he said smiling and I swear I almost melted.

"Yeah, waiting to scare me to death" his smile disappeared and he looked at me with guilt in his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Logan. It was meant to be a joke, I didn't mean to scare you" he said looking down.

I hate seeing James like this, now I felt guilty. I know just how to make him feel better.

"Well you did and now you owe me. And I know exactly how you can repay me" James looked up, curious. I leaned over him, not breaking eye contact, our lips inches apart, my hand started roaming until I found what I was looking for. I pulled away slowly and wiggled the game controller in James' face.

"I challenge you. I'm so going to kick your butt"

"Yeah right, you kick my butt?" he said grinning, but I could see something else in his eyes, disappointment?

* * *

**James' P.O.V**

"Yes!" I shouted jumping up from the couch and doing my victory dance before turning to Logan "In your . . ." the words died on my lips. There was Logan, on the couch, asleep, looking beautiful. I wondered why he gave up so easily, his character not even moving. **I should have guessed, Logan doesn't give up that easily**. I switched off the television and picked Logan up, carefully as not to wake him. I deposited Logan's sleeping body onto my bed.

"Logan, wake up buddy" I shook him lightly and he moaned in response. I quickly grabbed one of my sweatshirts and sleeping pants, and shook him again, a little bit harder this time. He moaned again, but opened his eyes, which were still filled with sleep "Hey buddy" I smiled at him "You can go back to bed again, but first take off your shirt and pants"

He did as I asked, but in slow motion. I bit my lip. **This is torture**. I wanted to see his skin, feel his skin against mine, and taste his skin, even though I knew it was wrong of me to think like that.

"God!" I whispered loudly. I started helping him out of his clothes, quickly, but not too fast to wake him up completely. It was better to help him then to watch him, because after a while I would have given in to my urges and done something rash.

When he was out of his clothes I helped him put on my sweatshirt and sleeping pants, which were a bit too big for him. Once he was dressed, I pushed him softly onto my bed. Before I even had the chance to think it over, I kissed him on his cheek "You can go back to sleep now" I whispered.

"Night Jamie" he mumbled.

"Night" I whispered in reply, before placing a kiss on his forehead. **Beautiful**. I quickly changed into my PJs and got into bed. I turned on my side, my back towards Logan.

As soon as I closed my eyes Logan's arm draped over my stomach. I opened my eyes. **I was sleeping with Logan, in the same bed**. I wanted to cuddle, but felt guilty for taking advantage of him. But when would I ever get a chance like this again?

I lifted Logan's arm and moved to lie on my back, placing his arm over my stomach again. Logan instantly moved closer and placed his head on my chest. I placed another kiss on his forehead "Night beautiful" I said before sleep took me over.

* * *

My eyes flew wide open as I felt a hard blow towards by stomach. "No, please" Logan said flailing around. I gasped for breath "James"

I stared at him eyes wide. **Me?**

* * *

**Logan's P.O.V**

Darkness. That's all I could see, darkness. "James!" I shouted out and it echoed back. I was completely alone in complete darkness. I started panicking, looking everywhere, looking for anyone, but I couldn't see anything just, black.

Suddenly it was light, like it was switched on. And there stood James about two metres away.

"James!" I screamed and he turned around. I blinked and he was suddenly in front of me "James" I said, relief evident in my voice, but there was something in his eyes. Something I never wanted to see, disgust. "James?" I questioned.

"How could you" I've never heard James sound so angry before. I wanted to take a step backwards, the disgust in James' eyes were too much.

"James" I pleaded.

"I don't think we can be friends anymore" he said, this time without any emotion in his voice "I hate you" he stated moving away from me.

"No, please" I said trying to run, but I was rooted to the spot "James"

* * *

**James' P.O.V**

"Please, James, don't hate me" Logan said, eyes still shut and still flailing. **Hate you? **I looked at him taken aback **I could never hate you, Logan**. I wrapped my arms around him trying to calm him down. I placed my face in his hair.

"I don't hate you Logan" I said into his hair "I could never hate you" I pulled him into my lap and rocked him back and forth. That's when I realized Logan had calmed down "I think I'm in love with you Logan" I whispered still rocking. I fell asleep with Logan in my arms.

* * *

**A/N: **For me it feels like I published the first chapter a long time ago, so I'm sorry if you feel the same. Please leave a review telling me if you hate me. I promise if you don't hate me, I won't eat chocolate for the whole week!

(Gasp) Who said that? I didn't (looks around suspiciously)


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: **I don't own BTR or any of its characters.

* * *

**Logan's P.O.V**

I was awakened by the smell of coffee and something else. **Muffins?** I lifted my nose to the air and took another sniff, wide awake now. **Chocolate chip muffins!**

I ran into the kitchen, almost falling over my own pants. **Wait, these aren't my pants, they're James'**. I looked behind me at the door I just came out of; it was James' and Kendall's room.

"Hey" James said. I turned around and my eyes nearly bugged out. James was in the kitchen busy making coffee in his PJ pants, only his PJ pants. He giggled "You are not supposed to be up yet. I wanted to bring you breakfast in bed" he said motioning to a tray, which had two humongous muffins and a rose, a red rose.

I smiled at him, my heart beating twice as fast as before. My smile disappeared as soon as I realized I must be reading into it too much, his just being nice. **James Diamond being nice?** James noticed the confusion on my face.

"What's wrong?" he asked concerned and walked towards me.

"Uhhm nothing really" I replied taking a step back.

"Logan" he said standing still "I know you well already, you can't lie to me"

"It's just, why are you being so nice?"

"Nice?" James asked taken by surprise.

"Yeah, not that I don't like it, but why?"

"Well" he said shuffling his feet uncomfortably "Because of what happened last night"

"What happened last night?" I asked "The last thing I remember was that I was beating your ass at video games" I said proudly.

"Beating my ass?" he said staring me down "You must have dreamt that part, I kicked your butt" he said and my face dropped "Logan are you ok? What's wrong?"

"Uhhm I-I just wanted to know" I said shuffling uncomfortably just as James did before "Did I speak in my sleep last night?" I asked looking everywhere, but at James.

I yelped, taken by surprise when James pulled me in for a hug, my head on his chest. I wrapped my arms around his waist as tears started forming in my eyes.

"Please, don't hate me James" I sobbed.

At that comment James squeezed me closer to him and then pulled away to look me in the eye.

"Logan, I could never hate you" he said before pulling me against him again and rubbing circles on my back to calm me down. It worked "Why would you think I hate you?" he asked once I calmed down completely, but he never let me go.

"It's not that I think you do, it's that I know you will" I said, my voice breaking at the end.

"I will never, ever, hate you" he whispered in my ear.

I broke away from the hug, even though I wanted to stay in his arms, and turned my back towards him

"Trust me, you will" I whispered hoping he wouldn't hear. He grabbed me and turned me around, looking me square in the eye.

"I will never hate you, trust me" he said with so much meaning. I wanted to believe him, I really did, but at the end of the day I knew well enough. As if he could sense this he let me go. His face lit up and I realized he was up to something.

"Come on" he said excitedly, leading me to the table "You need to finish your breakfast and then I have a surprise for you"

"Surprise?" I asked a bit afraid. He just giggled.

"Trust me"

* * *

**James' P.O.V**

I wiggled my toes in the sand as I watched the waves getting closer. I stared at my toes as the waves got closer and closer. When the cold wetness touched my toes I shivered involuntarily before running up the beach, away from the water, and sitting down in the sand. **I really didn't think this through**. I started shivering from the cold air when a pair of warm arms wrapped around my naked torso. I immediately stopped shivering and leant into Logan's warm embrace, sighing in contentment. **Can't we stay like this forever?** Unfortunately we couldn't.

"James, is something wrong?" Logan asked "It was your idea to come here"

"I know"

"Then what's wrong?" he persisted.

"Nothing"

"James" he pouted "Please come swim with me"

"I-I don't..." I began stuttering, afraid to go into the water. **I thought I was over this, over the fear that started with her**. I can still remember the pain I felt in my chest as I tried to gasp for breathe, but only receiving a mouth full of water, my nose and eyes burning from the chemicals. She said she never meant to push me, but I know she did. **No, I refuse to let her ruin my date. Ok, I know it's not a date, but I can dream, can't I?**

I stood up and grabbed Logan's hand, causing him to yelp in surprise, and ran into the sea, eyes closed. At first I was surprised by the cold, but I soon got use to it.

"James, you can open your eyes now" Logan said softly. I was still holding on to his hand. I opened my one eye to take a peak, but closed it quickly before opening my eyes completely.

I saw how deep the water was, until my neck and I couldn't touch the bottom, I didn't know we were out so far, and I started panicking.

"James, James" Logan said grabbing my face with both hands, forcing me to look into his eyes "its ok, I'm here" he said caressing my cheek. I stared into his chocolate brown eyes and found myself calming down "Better?" he asked, his hands dropping to his sides, hidden under the water.

"Yeah" I answered, smiling. And I was.

Suddenly I was hit by a strong force and everything went dark. The last thing I remember was the sensation of falling very slowly, before the sea embraced me in its cold darkness.

* * *

**Logan's P.O.V**

My nose burned from trying to inhale air, but only receiving salt water. I gasped for air as I broke free from the seas hold. I was panting wildly, taking big gulps of air. **James?! Where's James?! **My eyes searched around for him, my mouth screaming his name. I dove back under and searched for him.

I could feel my lungs burning, begging me to give up, when I found him. He was slowly floating down to the bottom. I quickly swam back up, took three big gulps of air and dove back down.

I swam as fast as I could and grabbed James' hand. That's when things started to get fuzzy. I knew I was running out of oxygen. I swam even faster, but with the extra weight, I was slower than before.

I was a few inches away from breaking the surface when everything went black. **No! **I screamed into an eternity of darkness **I will not give up, for James**.

Suddenly a small white dot appeared which soon turned into a big pond of whiteness, and I was awake. I swam faster than before, my new found energy and James encouraging me.

As soon as I broke free from the sea I swam to the shore. I carried James on to the shore and deposited him onto the sand. I placed my ear over his mouth and listened, but I heard nothing. I started CPR, placing my mouth against his and blew air into his lungs. I then put both hands over his heart and pushed three times before putting my ear to his mouth, nothing. I repeated again and again, each time my hope breaking. I hadn't even noticed I started crying until my eyes were so full of tears I couldn't see straight. I could feel myself shaking. I collapsed on top of James, exhaustion finally taking me over.

"Please James, don't leave me" I whimpered "You can't leave me" I said angrily "You still owe me for scaring me half to death last night!" I shouted, my tears mixing with the salty sea water on James' skin. I used my last ounce of energy and pounded my fists against James at full force, letting out all my anger, hurt and sadness.

The next thing I knew James is spitting out water and gasping for air, but I didn't move. **It is just a sick joke played on me by my mind**. I felt a hand threw my hair, but still I wouldn't believe it, James was dead.

"Ouch, that really hurt. I should go to the gym more"

That's when I heard it, James' heartbeat. I slowly raised my head and met beautiful hazel eyes. My tears were still falling, but for a different reason now, happiness.

"Hey, hey, what's with the crying?" he asked wiping my tears away with the back of his hand. He was about to pull away when I placed my hand over his, keeping it there. I shook my head.

"I-I thought you were d-dead" I said looking him in the eye.

"Me? Dead?" he asked in mock horror "No way. There's still something..."

I cut him off. My lips enveloping his, hoping I wasn't making the biggest mistake of my life. Even if he hates me after this at least I'll know I tried and that I tasted his lips, his warm soft lips. All these thoughts went through my mind when he didn't kiss back, until he did. He slid his tongue over my bottom lip, begging for entrance, which I granted. He explored my mouth occasionally fighting me for dominance. After that I couldn't help it, I grinded my body against his, which caused a very excited moan from James. He cupped my butt pushing me closer to him and creating more friction between us. I was ready to rip off James' clothes.

"Get a room!" I heard someone shout. I quickly got off of James and looked towards the person the voice belonged to. I could feel the blood being directed to my cheeks.

"H-hi, Emily" I said a bit out of breath.

"What? Did someone take your breath away?" she asked softly, grinning.

"Shut up" I whispered, slapping her shoulder softly.

* * *

**James' P.O.V**

**Emily?! Who the hell is Emily?! **I stared at the beautiful girl Logan was talking to. The red hair, blue eyes, she's gorgeous!

I cleared my throat and Logan looked at me.

"Oh, right! James this is Emily, Emily this is James"

"Hi James" she said practically hanging on Logan. **I don't like this Emily; I don't like her at all**.

"Come on Logan, let's go" she said pulling at his clothing.

"Hang on, geez" he said to her and turned to me "Do you mind?"

"Of course not, go ahead" I said, but what I really was thinking was **I'm going to kill her! Taking my Logie away!**

I glared at her back as they left the beach and watched the car until they left. It was about a minute after they left when I realized something. I got up, sand clinging to my back. Logan has a girlfriend! My blood boiled at this new information. **Why would Logan kiss me if he has a girlfriend?** Even though the question kept bouncing around my mind I couldn't think rationally, the anger taking over.

"Well two can play that game" I said loudly and took long, angry strides towards my car. I took my cell phone out of my pocket, after I sat in the car for a while composing myself, and dialled a number. After the third ring it was answered with a very confused yet oddly excited voice, which led me to believe that this would work.

"James?"

"Hey, Camille, are you busy tonight?"

"No, why?"  
"Do you want to come over and hang out?"

"James, I don't think that's a good idea, Logan..."

"Logan" I interrupted "Is not important. If I want to have a date with you it doesn't concern him" My heart broke as the words left my lips, knowing this might hurt him. Hurt him? Why? He broke up with her, ok maybe it was my fault they broke up, maybe a little, but he has a girlfriend.

"A date?" she asked excitedly, breaking through my thoughts "Yes, I'll be there"

"Say around seven?"

"See you then" she said before hanging up. I stared at the cell phone in my hand.** What have I done? No! He hurt me and this is just my way of moving on**. But deep inside I knew, I knew I was trying to get him back, hurt him like he hurt me.

Payback, a skill I am not proud of. A skill my sister, Jazz, taught me.

* * *

**A/N: **Sorry guys that this took so long, I've been having trouble with a big decision I need to make. I guess it does kind of involve you guys. I'm deciding if I should stop writing or not.

Please leave a review on what you thought of this chapter.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: **I don't own BTR or any of its characters.

* * *

**Logan's P.O.V**

We screamed like two giddy school girls, before I let out a shriek of horror.

"Ok, ok, better?" Emily asked me as she put her hands on the steering wheel again.

"Don't ever do that again!" I shouted, putting my hand over my heart "Where did you get your licence, a cereal box? You should know never to take your hands off the steering wheel while driving" I scolded. All Emily did was laugh, but I could understand why. Even though I was scolding and had a near death experience, I couldn't stop smiling. I was just so happy. **I kissed James Diamond!** I wanted to shout to the world.

"James is certainly a lucky guy" she said and I looked at her confused "He has you as a boyfriend, I almost feel sorry for the guy" she said trying to suppress a grin, but failed miserably.

"Shut up" I said smiling "So what do you need me for?" I asked.

"Oh, nothing much, I was just bored" she smiled, but I could see threw it.

"Em" I said forcefully.

"Fine" she said moaning in frustration "I need your help" she said nervously. **This must be serious; I've never seen Emily look so nervous before**.

"Anything"

"Will you be my boyfriend?"  
"What?! Boyfriend?!" I asked in disbelief "We were just now talking about James and I. Beach? Kissing? Remember?" I asked panicking. **Boyfriend?! Me?! She knows I'm gay right?**

"Yeah, I remember. It's just for the night. Please?" she begged.

"For the night? Wait, I think you show start from the beginning"

"Ok" she said taking a big breath, before letting it out slowly "I'm rich" I looked at her confused "Well not me, my parents"

"If you are rich then why do you work at the coffee shop?" I asked curious.

"I hated all the fake friends and got fed up with it, so I moved out" she looked at me to make sure I understood and I nodded "My parents allowed it, but they want to meet me and my boyfriend" she said pointing to me before continuing "If I can't show them how happy I am they will force me to move back and be the picture perfect daughter"

"And are you happy?" she nodded in response "Then why do you need me"

"Because my parents believe the only way you can be truly happy is with a partner"

**Now I understand. She needs my help, just like he did**. Suddenly a face appears in my mind. A beautiful face with deep chocolate brown eyes filled with so much emotion that he shouldn't be experiencing at that young age, and a smile to mask his pain but I could always see threw it.

_Flashback_

"Logan!" I turned around at my name and got tackled to the ground. I heard him sniffling and decided not to get up. I wrapped my arms around him, his face in the crook of my neck, and rubbed my lips against his neck. I don't why, but this always seems to calm him down, except this time "Logan, I had another one" he said, his voice breaking. I could feel his tears staining my shirt.

"Shhh" I comforted him, continuing to rub my lips against his neck and rubbing circles on his back. My mommy always rubs circles on my back when I'm sad "It's ok. I can ask my mommy if you can sleep over and we can drink hot chocolate and play video games if you want"

"Can I?" he looked up at me. I nodded.

"I'll ask my mommy to phone your daddy" I said getting up and bringing him with me.

_End of flashback_

I shook my head to get rid of my thoughts. **No, I left that life behind**.

"Hey, are you ok?" Emily asked concerned.

"Yeah" I answered "By the way what time will we be meeting your parents" I smiled.

"Oh, I'll pick you up at 7:30" she said looking from the road to me and back to the road again. Once it set in she looked at me with wide eyes, which caused my smile to widen "Thank you Logan!" she said letting go of the steering wheel and leaned over to try to hug me.

"Hands on the wheel, hands on the wheel!" I screamed as the car swerved, before she took back control of the car. She smiled sheepishly at me.

"So is 7:30 alright with you?" she asked trying to distract me from her bad driving, it worked. I looked at my watch, it was a little before six. I looked at the sky in disbelieve, the sun creeping towards the mountain, almost at its destination. We were out almost whole day.

"Logan?" Emily said breaking me out of my thoughts.

"Oh, yeah, that's alright. I'll just need to get home soon though, there's something I want to do"

"You've been lost in your thoughts a lot, huh? James on your mind?" she teased. I felt my cheeks redden.

"So what if he is?" I pouted, which caused her to laugh. She raised her eyebrows up and down and smiled "Stop it!" I laughed with her.

"So what do you need to do?"

"I want to do something special for James"

"You haven't even been together for a whole day yet and you are already spoiling him"

"I've been fantasying about this day since...I don't know when, and now that I got James I'm not letting him go" I said thinking about James' face when he saw what I have planned for him.

"I'm really happy for you, Logan" she said smiling "Maybe next you can find someone for me" she joked.

"Oh, I will, I promise" I said seriously. She looked at me with so much fear I couldn't help but laugh.

"Jerk"

* * *

"Hey, guys" I said as I opened the door to apartment 2J and found Carlos and Kendall sitting on the couch together, a little to close if you asked me. They jumped as far away from each other, without falling off the coach, when they heard my voice. I smiled. **And what's going on here?**

"H-hey, Logan" Carlos stuttered, his face a deep shade of red and Kendall's was the same. **Caught in the act, huh?**

"You don't have to stop on my account" I said grinning and casually walked into the kitchen.

"S-stop what?" Kendall asked nervously.

"Oh come on guys" I said "I think it's really cool that you two are together" I almost thought I assumed wrong when Kendall's eyes nearly came out of its sockets.

"H-how did you find out?" Carlos asked and Kendall glared at him.

"You just confirmed it" I smiled.

"Oh" Carlos said as he shuffled, as if he was trying to escape Kendall's glare.

"Come on, Kendall" Carlos whined "I'm sorry. How was I supposed to know he didn't really know? I'm sorry, Kendall" he said sadly and hanged his head.

"Its fine, Carlos, I forgive you" Kendall said. Carlos lifted his head and smiled "On one condition" Kendall continued.

"A condition?" Carlos asked.

"Yes. You have to kiss me or otherwise I won't forgive you" Confusion flashed over Carlos' face before he got it.

"Well" Carlos said and let out an overly dramatic sigh "If I have to, I have to, right?" he said smiling. The next thing I know Carlos grabbed Kendall, spun him around and then dipped him "Kendall" Carlos said lovingly.

"Carlos" Kendall said in a more loving way. **Aww, that's so cute**.

"Kendall" Carlos said again, even more lovingly then before. **When did this turn into a contest?**

"Just kiss already" I said, annoyed, before Kendall could say anything. They both looked at me as if I just ruined the most romantic moment ever.

"Carlos" Kendall said with some much love that my heart cried out for James. Carlos looked in Kendall's eyes and they shared a kissed, which soon turned into groping and moans I didn't want to hear, except coming from James.

"Hey, guys, sorry to disturb your make out session" I said, which caused a glare from Kendall "Have you guys seen James?"

"You interrupted my Carlos time to know where James is?" Kendall asked. Carlos blushed and punched Kendall's arm lightly. They then got back to kissing mode, forgetting about me.

"Guys" I whined.

"Ok, ok" Carlos said laughing and breaking the kiss "His in his room"

"Now get lost" Kendall said grabbing Carlos and dipping him, just as Carlos did before "I need to get back to my Carlos time" Carlos giggled and then punched him.

"Stop torturing Logan"

"Ouch!" Kendall shouted out and rubbed the spot where Carlos hit him "That hurt" he pouted.

"Poor baby" Carlos said arms crossed over his chest "Must your Carlos kiss it better?" he asked seductively. Kendall looked at him, surprised.

"Please" Kendall pouted. Carlos walked over to Kendall and wrapped his arms around his neck.

"Where does it hurt?" Carlos asked leaning forward and kissing Kendall's neck. Kendall tried to speak, but all that came out was a moan, so he pointed to his shoulder. Carlos placed his lips on Kendall's shoulder and made a kissing noise "Better?" he asked.

Kendall shook his head no "Where else does it hurt?" he asked seductively. Kendall bit his lip and pointed to it "Here?" Carlos asked running his finger over Kendall's bottom lip. Kendall nodded. I swear Kendall's eyes almost rolled to the back of his head "To bad" Carlos said backing away from Kendall. Kendall's eyes went wide in shock.

"Tease!" Kendall commented. Carlos once again invaded Kendall's space and placed his lips to Kendall's ear.

"I wonder, will you be saying that tonight" Kendall moaned in response.

"Guys! Seriously!" I shouted "No!"

"Oh, right, sorry Logan" Carlos said walking away from Kendall "Straight guy in the room"

"Well" I said nervously "I wouldn't say that" They both looked at me and then broke into smiles.

"Welcome" Kendall mocked.

"Oh, shut up. Back to James" I said "I need a favour"

"Sure" Carlos answered.

"I need you guys to get James out of the apartment while I make him a romantic dinner" I said looking at my watch, I have an hour left before Emily fetches me.

"About time" Kendall said smiling "I was wondering how long it would take you guys to admit your feelings for each other"

"Yeah, it took a while. So I'll be in our room, I don't want him to know I'm back yet, when you leave bang the door loudly so that I know you guys left"

"Ok" Carlos nodded "Just don't touch my helmets, I polished them" he said proudly.

"I won't, I promise" I ran to the room I shared with Carlos and sat on my bed and waited. It wasn't even a minute yet, when I heard a loud bang. **That's the signal**. I ran into the kitchen and got to work.

* * *

**James' P.O.V**

"So?" Kendall lightly bumped me.

"So?" I asked. **What's going on? First they wanted to get some ice-cream, which I would never say no to, and it's there treat. And now they are acting weirdly too, something's up.**

"Guys what's going on?" I asked as we stood in line to order our ice-cream.

"Whatever do you mean?" Carlos asked in that 'over the top suspiciously obvious' way. I glared at Carlos. **Something was defiantly up**.

"Yes, James, whatever do you mean?" Kendall asked in the same manner and stroked his nonexistent beard. I looked at Carlos and tried to read his mind. He wouldn't meet my eye, which proved my suspicions.

"Hey, stop that" Carlos said "It was Logan, ok" Carlos finally gave up.

"Carlos!" Kendall scolded.

"Logan?" I asked "Why would Logan want me out of the house?"

"We are not supposed to tell you, but his making a romantic dinner" Carlos said.

"Yes, Carlos, James is not supposed to know that" Kendall glared at him.

"Don't do that" Carlos said "Didn't you learn your lesson earlier?" he asked grinning. Kendall turned a deep shade of red.

"Whatever" Kendall muttered under his breath. **So Logan's planning a romantic dinner for Emily. I can't believe he would do that, not even a few hours ago he ripped my heart out and trampled it. Why would Logan do this to me?**

"How long do you have to keep me occupied?" I asked.

"He didn't say" Kendall said confused and then looked at his watch "It's been about more than a half an hour, I think that's enough time. I thought you would happy" Kendall said looking at me. **Happy?! Why would I be happy that Logan's making dinner for Emily?**

"Yeah, I am" I said, but apparently my face told a different story, because I could tell Kendall wasn't buying it "Wait, what time is it?"

"It's a little before seven"

"Shit, I'm late" I said, running towards the palm woods.

"Late for what?" Kendall asked after catching up with me. I stood in front of our apartment.

"My date with...Camille" I answered.

"What?" Carlos asked shocked from behind Kendall.

"I know it's wrong, because Logan and Camille had a thing but I really like her" I lied. Both Carlos and Kendall looked at me with confusion written all over their faces. I opened apartment 2J and my nose was assaulted with delicious smells.

* * *

**A/N:** Hey, so what do you think of this chapter? I'm not sure if you could tell in the flashback that Logan and the mystery guy is really young. I am so sorry about the time it took me to publish. And I'm apologizing in advance as well; the next few chapters might be late too. I am on school holidays, but I might still not be able to write because of extra classes, the last year of high school is really a bitch, and the fast is starting soon as well. So sorry about that, but I'll try my best to get a few more chapters up, if you want?


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: **I don't own BTR or any of its characters.

**A/N:** Hey guys! I went through the last chapters and I realized something, I never thanked you guys. Thank you to everyone that reviewed, favourited, followed and read this story, it means a lot to me, thank you =)

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**James' P.O.V**

"James" Logan said surprised as he looked up at me from setting up the table. All my favourite foods were placed on the table, pizza, pasta and Greek salad, their where also lavender scented candles. **Wow, Logan really knows how to set up a dinner, but I don't think Emily will appreciate it. Wait, how could he have made this in an half an hour?** "James" he said breaking me out of my thoughts "What do you think?" **What do I think?! What do I think?! Well, let's see, I hate you Logan! How could you do this to me?** "James what's wrong?" That's when I felt something wet roll down my cheek; I didn't even know I was crying.

"Yeah, I'm fine" I let out, but my voice, for some reason, was raspy. I ran to my room and ignored the worried calls from Logan. **He doesn't have to be worried about me, I can take care of myself, I'm a big boy. I can get over him. **As I thought about it I knew I couldn't get over him, no matter how much I wanted to, his just too deeply rooted in my heart. **Logan, why did I have to love you? Why do I have to care? Why do you have to torture me like this? I thought it meant something when you kissed me on the beach, I thought we were going to be together, I guess I was wrong. **More tears rolled down my cheeks. **No, James, get a hold of yourself, don't show him how heartbroken you are, don't give him the satisfaction of knowing how much he hurt you. **I breathed in slowly and let it out. **Right, I have a date to get ready for**.

* * *

**Logan's P.O.V**

I knocked on James' door and called for him, but he didn't answer. This was not the reaction I thought James would have, ok, I admit it's not the most romantic spread, but I tried my best in the short time I had. I did what any normal person would when there wasn't enough time, I ordered it. But I put it on plates so that does count, right?

"Uhhm, Logan?" Kendall said "There's something we need to tell you"

Just then James opened the door and headed towards the bathroom, ignoring me.

"James?" I asked confused.

"What?" he asked with so much venom after turning around to face me.

"I don't understand, James, did I do something wrong?" I asked.

"Seriously?" he asked eyes wide "I thought that we had a moment on the beach, I thought we were going to be together, that the kiss meant something, but I was wrong. I hope you enjoy your date with Emily" he said with malice and entered the bathroom, leaving me dumbfounded. **Emily? Date? What? **I knocked on the door loudly enough to make Carlos jump in surprise.

"James Diamond you better open this door immediately or I'll grab one of Carlos' helmets and break it down" I said and then looked at Carlos pleadingly. Carlos looked anywhere, but at me. After a nudge from Kendall and a lot of pouting he handed his helmet over. I put the helmet on and knocked on it, like I saw Carlos did once, and readied myself to charge "James I'm giving you one more chance, open the damn door!" I shouted before charging. Before I could hit the door James opened it, so instead I hit James. He fell backwards with a groan, luckily he softened my fall.

"Isn't it enough your broke my heart, now you trying to kill me" he said looking up at me. He was about to speak further, but I interrupted him with my lips. He let out a sound between a yelp of surprise and a sigh. I was about to lick his bottom lip, but James beat me to it. I granted him access and he explored my mouth. **Hmm, he tastes good**. Suddenly James pulled away and looked at me shocked "Logan, what are you doing?" he asked looking at me with wide eyes "You can't keep doing this to me, it hurts too much"

"Hurts? But you said before the kiss meant something to you"

"Yeah, because it did, but no matter how much I enjoy those lips of yours, I can't do it" he said with sad eyes.

"But why?" I pleaded.

"Because of Emily"

"Emily? What does Emily have to do with anything?"

"Everything" James said taken aback "She's your girlfriend, isn't she?"

"No! Of course not!"

"So you and Emily are not together?" James asked with something that sounded like hope.

"Of course not" I said, placing a quick kiss on his lips "I kind of, maybe, sort of like, like you" I said trying not to look into those eyes; I felt the blush that crept up to my cheeks.

"I kind of, maybe, sort of like, like you too"

"Really?" I asked hopeful. James nodded and then I got an idea "I don't believe you" I said, pouting. He raised an eyebrow in question.

"Then what will make you believe me?" he asked almost carefully.

"I don't know" I said innocently "Maybe a kiss will help" I pouted.

"Well, I don't see why not" he grinned and placed a kiss on my cheek.

"That's it?" I asked disappointed.

"Yeah"

"Fine" I said getting off of James and sitting at the table.

"Logan?" he asked getting up.

"What?" I asked faking anger and looked away, so I didn't notice the smile on James face which he soon replaced with sadness. He walked up to me and knelt at the side of my chair.

"Logie, what's wrong?" he asked. I tried to suppress the smile that crept its way on my face. I turned to the opposite side of the chair and James followed "Logie bear?" This time I couldn't suppress the smile that spread across my face. I changed sides again, but this time James was too fast and beat me. As soon as I faced the other side he placed his lips against mine.

"Ok, Logan, you win. We get it" Kendall said, ruining the mood. I glared at him.

"You're ruining my James time" I said grinning, which caused James to blush.

"Yeah, yeah, we get it" Carlos said rolling his eyes, and went to our room, Kendall following. James was about to come in for another kiss, but I put up my hand to stop him.

"Huh uh, not until you take a shower, stinky" I said pinching my nose. James looked horrified and glared at me.

"Fine" he said getting up and headed towards the bathroom, but soon returned "One for the road?" he asked pointing to his cheek.

"Fine" I giggled and placed a kiss on his cheek, but at the last minute he turned his face and our lips met for a quick kiss "Cheater" I laughed and pushed him away. He grinned and entered the bathroom, soon after that I heard the shower turned on. I placed the food in the oven to keep them as warm as possible. When I heard a knock at the door, I looked at my watch, it was 7:25. **Emily's early**.

I headed to the door and opened it, but it wasn't Emily, it was the last person I expected, Camille.

"Hey, Logan" she said nervously "I didn't know you would be here"

"Well, I do live here" I faked a laugh and Camille joined in.

"Uhhm, is James here, I know I'm late..." Just then the door the bathroom opened.

"Late for what?" I asked.

"Our date" And just like that my world came crashing down. **Was it all a lie? The kisses, the flirting, was it all a lie**?

"Camille?" James asked. I turned around to face him. He had a confused look on his face, his brows furred, but it soon turned to realization. Tears started forming in my eyes and threatened to fall. **Camille wasn't lying**. I pushed Camille out of the way and ran out the door.

"Logan, wait!" James shouted after me, but I kept running. James caught up with me and grabbed my arm; he was to fast "Please, Logan, let me explain"

"There's nothing to explain" I said the tears falling freely know "It was all a lie"

Suddenly I heard a car honk. I turned around to see it was Emily. She rolled down her window.

"Hey, boyfriend" she said, nervously. That's when I noticed her parents where in the back seat. I faced the other way, away from Emily and James, and whipped my tears away. I ran to the passenger side and climbed in, ignoring James completely. Emily placed her hand on my leg and squeezed. I looked up at her and she smiled. I nodded my head and we drove off. If I looked back I would have noticed the emotions on James' face, sadness, confusion, hurt and anger, but I didn't look back.

* * *

**James' P.O.V**

**I-I don't understand, he said they weren't together.** I watched as the car drove away, out of view. I stood there for a minute.** He lied to me. His done it to me again, how do I keep falling for him? Even knowing he has a girlfriend, I still want to be with him. No! I don't love him**. My eyes started welling up with tears. **Who am I kidding I do love him, he just doesn't love me**. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before letting it go.

I entered apartment 2J, not even noticing Camille was sitting on the couch waiting for me. Carlos and Kendall were in the kitchen. They hadn't heard me come in, because the door was already open and they haven't noticed me yet.

"...Do you think Logan told him about Emily?" Carlos asked. They were speaking about me.

"I don't know" Kendall said "how would he take it?"

**They knew! They knew Logan and Emily were together**. At this new information my anger increased, my blood boiling. I forgot about all my affections and feelings and focused on two emotions, anger and hatred. I walked up to Carlos and Kendall.

"Where are they?" I asked angrily. They were surprised at my tone of voice, I could see it on their faces, but I didn't care.

"Who?" Carlos asked.

"Logan and Emily"

"James" Kendall said. I faced him and we stared at each other, before he let out a sigh and told me which restaurant they were going to. Carlos and I looked at him surprised. Kendall was not the type to give in so easily "Go James, you and Logan have a few things to sort out"

If I wasn't so hyped up on anger I would have heard the certainty in his voice, the certainty that Logan and I would make it through this. But the one thing I did noticed was Carlos grabbing Kendall and attacking his mouth, in turn my mouth dropped in surprise. **How did I not notice that?**

"I love you" Carlos said as they broke the kiss.

"I love you too" Kendall said. My heart soared and fell at the same time. On the one hand I was happy for them, but on the other had I was jealous, I wanted that with Logan. **No, Logan made it pretty clear with his actions he didn't feel the same**. My mind travelled to the beach and not too long ago in the apartment, both times Logan was the one to initiate the kiss. Even though my mind was telling me all these facts, it was as if I couldn't hear it, my sense of betrayal was to strong, my anger over powered me and with it my common sense evaporated. I walked over to Camille with a huge smile on my face; if anyone noticed they would have seen the conflict of emotions on my face.

"Camille, there's been a change of plans. I'm taking you out for dinner" She got up and was practically jumping with excitement.

"James, I don't think that's such a good idea" Kendall said, panicking, but it fell on deaf ears.

* * *

**A/N: **So what do you guys think? I wrote the last bit when I was in pain, had surgery, so I'm sorry if it's not very good. The next chapter will probably be published in a little of a month, because of the fast, please don't hate me. If you don't hate me you should drop a review and if you do hate me...still drop a review.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: **I don't own BTR or any of its characters.

**A/N: **Yes, guys, it's a miracle, I updated, twice, in one week. I just felt sorry that I was leaving you guys for more than a month, so here's the next chapter. I would like to apologize to the one 'guest', I'm sorry about that, I guess my grammar needs more work, but thanks for letting me know. Here's the next chapter!

* * *

**Logan's P.O.V**

"Hey, are you alright?" Emily whispered as she leaned closer to me without taking her eyes off the road.

"No" I whimpered softly, looking out the window watching the buildings pass by.

"You know if you are not up to this we don't have to do this" Emily said smiling, but I could hear in her voice she was hoping I would. Either way, I was not going to let James or her parents take her away from me, she is my rock, I need her.

"Don't be silly, its fine" I said with a fake smile.

"Uh huh, I'm similar with the 'I'm fine' concept Logan and thank you" she said and leaned even closer without getting out of her seat "When this is over we can go over to my shop, have loads of ice cream and discuss what an dumb ass James is" she whispered before returning to her previous position. **I really thought the kisses meant something.**

"That sounds great" I said placing my hand on her thigh and giving her a genuine smile "Wow" I said in astonishment as Emily parked the car. I stepped out of the car and looked up at the restaurant in awe. It looked like one of those Greek temples. It had white steps with black carpet on each step leading up to the restaurant. The restaurant itself was white as well with cream pillars. The lights that wrapped themselves around the pillars gave the place a beautiful glow. The inside was even more breathtaking, the red velvet carpets matching the red chairs and table cloths. It was even bigger then it looked like from outside. I sat down at the table and I swear my butt sighed in happiness. **I could live here, it's beautiful, there's food and it's away from James**. And just like that my thoughts were back on James.

"So how do you like the restaurant, Logan?" Emily asked, saving me from my own mind.

"It's beautiful" I said smiling.

"I thought you would like it" she giggled.

"So, Logan tell us about yourself, what are your dreams and what do you aspire to be?" Emily's dad said. He had black cropped hair that was subtly turning grey in certain places, and a matching moustache. He had baby blue eyes which matched Emily's. Her mother on the other hand had deep green eyes, her blonde hair falling over her shoulders. **I wonder why Emily dyed her hair red, she would look pretty as a blonde**.

"Well I would like to become a doctor..."I said before loud giggling interrupted me, but I continued "It's always been my dream to help people, but..." This time I was interrupted my Emily.

"Dad" she whined "Leave my boyfriend alone" she said boyfriend while looking at me with a devious grin on her face. More giggling was heard, but I didn't pay any attention to them.

"Yes, dear" Emily's mom said "Let's order" she grabbed her menu and started perusing "There'll be plenty of time to grill him later" she said and I could see where Emily got that grin from. I could feel the blood drain from my face. Emily's mom busted out laughing.

"Mom" Emily whined "You're worse than Dad"

"Ok, I'm sorry dear" she said after the laughing had left her system and turned to me "I'm sorry Logan I just couldn't resist. I promise we won't grill you..." she said turning back to her menu "...much" she added on. I grabbed my menu and looked over the dishes trying to ignore the laughter at our table that had mixed with the flirtatious giggling of the next table. I nearly had a heart attack when I noticed the prices.

"Honey" I said as I leaned closer to Emily, using my menu to cover our conversation "Have you seen these prices?" I asked panicky "I can't afford this?"

"Don't be silly dear, this is our treat" Emily's mom said. Apparently the menu guard didn't work very well. I lifted my head over the menu and smiled by best smile, feeling like I owe them something at least, this place is day light robbery. Well, ok, it's not day, but, you know what I mean. I sat up straight. I was just about to drop my menu guard when Emily stopped me and pulled me back down, behind the menu.

"What happened between you and James?" she whispered.

"Do you really think this is the best place to discuss this?" I whispered back. She gave me one look and I caved "Fine" I told her everything in a rushed version, from Carlos and Kendall dating, James and I kissing and Camille and James' date. By the end she looked furious and mumbled something under her breathe something like 'idiots'.

Suddenly something passed Emily's eyes for a millisecond. She sighed as if she had given up.

"Why do you put so much effort into that guy?" she asked. I looked at her surprised. That was not what I had expected to come out of her mouth.

"Excuse me?"

"I mean his dumb, his not really a good singer, his probably not even a good kisser and his not even that good looking" she said in a matter of fact way. I stared at her, before everything she just said registered. I looked at her furious.

"Excuse me" I whispered, angry now "He is not dumb, he has an awesome voice, he is the most amazing kisser and he is the most gorgeous man on this earth, and, and..." I said trying to think of what to say next, but I couldn't think of anything so I said the first thing that came to mind when I thought of James' face "And I love him"

"Finally" she said smiling "That's all I needed to hear"

The giggling from the next table started again and it was even louder this time. Hopped up on my confession, I got up and walked over to the next table, ready to give them a piece of my mind, but my mind froze and my heart shattered. There sat Camille and James, holding hands.

James looked up at me and smiled, while tears started welling up in my eyes.

"Oh, hey Logan" James said keeping his smile plastered on.

"J-James" I stuttered "What are you doing here?"

"I'm on my date with Camille" My unshed tears started to burn, begging me to let them free as they witnessed James trample on my already shattered heart. Emily must have noticed, because she was at my side in an instant, but she was too late, the damage had been done.

"James?" she asked confused.

"Hey, Emily, are you enjoying your date? This is my date Camille" And that's when Emily realized what had happened. She reached for me and was going to pull me in for hug, but I pushed her away, my tears falling freely now, and ran out the restaurant.

"Logan, wait!" she shouted, but I ignored her and just kept on running. I didn't know how long it had been, but my throat burned and my heart hurt. I just wanted to rip the stupid thing out of my chest, even though it put itself together after it was shattered and trampled on, pieces were missing and in the wrong places. But I didn't care, I didn't care that my throat burned and I didn't care that my feet hurt, I just didn't care anymore. I looked up to partially see the Palm Woods through my tears.

I put my keys in the lock, it finally went in after sixteen failures, my tears obscuring my view, and turned. There was complete darkness, but I didn't reach for the light switch, I headed straight to my room. I closed the door, slid down it and pulled my knees to my chest, hugging them. I let all my tears fall now. In a matter of seconds there were wet patches on my pants and they hugged my knees as if they couldn't live without them, but my tears kept falling. **James, why would you do this to me? Why would you hurt we like this?**

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. I tried to ignore it, but they were persistent. I dragged my broken self to the door and opened it. My eyes went wide in shock, it was the last person I ever expected.

* * *

**James' P.O.V**

"James, I really think this is a bad idea" Kendall said in a worried tone, but I just ignored him. I grabbed Camille's hand and pulled her up from the coach, bringing her closer to me, our bodies touching.

"Where too?" she asked shyly, her cheeks turning a vivid red.

"It's a surprise" I said smiling, intertwining our fingers and walking out apartment 2J, ignoring Kendall, and now Carlos', objections. If I was being truly honest with myself I could understand where they were coming from, but I didn't want to be honest with myself, Logan hurt me way to many times, he needs to know how it feels. A small part of me tried to speak reason into my mind using logic, telling me I was just feeling hurt and jealous and using anger to cope with it, and facts, like if Logan didn't have feelings for me then why did he initiate the kisses? But I wouldn't see reason, I was consumed by anger.

* * *

"James, stop it" she said, giggling loudly. I smiled as I continued the gesture, rubbing my foot against her leg, getting the desired effect. Logan and Emily's table was next to ours, I was sitting with my back towards Logan and Emily, who were sitting next to each other, Camille sitting opposite me. Even though this restaurant is really popular and very difficult to get reservations at, it was fairly easy for me. All I had to do is throw in 'Brooke Diamond' and 'I'm her son' and we got a table "James" Camille giggled again "Stop that" I took her hand, which was on the table, and turned it over, palm up, and started making circles with my finger while at the same time rubbing my foot against her leg "It tickles" she giggled louder than before. As soon as I heard a chair lightly scrape the floor I intertwined mine and Camille's hands. Logan's shadow covered our table and I looked up to him and smiled.

"Oh, hey Logan"

"James, what are you doing here?" he stuttered.

"I'm on my date with Camille" I answered. Logan looked close to tears. I smiled half heartily, a small part of me happy that my plan was working, but now that I see Logan like this I couldn't take it, I don't want to see Logan like this. That's when Emily came to Logan's side and my jealousy took over again.

"James?" she asked sounding confused.

"Hey, Emily, are you enjoying your date? This is my date Camille" I said smiling at her. I turned to Logan and saw that he was even worse than before; he looked like he was going to break down. **To hell with this, I can't hurt Logan like this**. "But you already have" A voice said in my voice. **I didn't mean...I'm sorry...I didn't know that it would hurt him this much**. "But that was your plan in the first place, to hurt him". **I'm sorry, I will never do anything like this again, I don't want to hurt Logan, I love him, I want to protect him. I want him to love me back**.

I was brought out of my thoughts by Emily shouting for Logan to wait. When I looked up Logan was gone and Emily was standing there furious. **Why would she be furious? Oh, yeah, I ruined her date**.

"How could you this? How could you do this to Logan?" she asked and I looked at her confused. **Logan? I thought she would be angry about me ruining her date. Oh, right, Camille, Logan's ex. **I opened my mouth to apologize, but Emily interrupted me.

"No, you shut up and listen. You and Logan had a great moment on the beach, and then he still makes you dinner. You then thought he and I were dating, but you guys sorted that out and made out again. But then it turns out that you already made plans with Camille, which devastated Logan and now you come here and rub it in his face" she said taking a big breathe.

"I'm sorry, ok; I don't know what came over me. And he lied to me, he told me you guys weren't dating, but here you guys are, on date"

"It was for my stupid parents. Logan and I are just friends; he was helping me out with my parents. Besides he loves you"

"He does?" I asked hoping, with all my heart that it was true.

"Of course, you dumb idiot"

"Wait, I thought he ran out because of Camille..." As soon as it left my lips I realized, it was because of me.

"No, of course not, his in love with you"

"Oh, shit!" I said standing up with wide eyes "Did I just ruin my chances with Logan?"

"He might be angry with you for a long time, but I doubt it"

I ran out of the restaurant, leaving Camille behind, and got into my car and headed towards our apartment. **Logan, I'm so sorry. Please say that you will forgive me. I acted like a stupid jealous child and let my anger take over. I promise I'll never hurt you again, just say you will forgive me**.

* * *

**A/N: **I would like to say sorry, again, I don't think this chapter is very good. Please leave a review and tell me what you think.


	7. Chapter 7

**Logan's P.O.V**

"Aren't you going to invite me in?" she asked, the smile she greeted me with faltering. I didn't answer, rather choosing to stare into her hazel eyes. They were so much like his and yet so very different "Not even a hello?!" she asked sounding a bit annoyed now. I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out. I didn't know what to say, my mind filling with things to tell her and things to ask her. I could picture myself looking like a fish out of water, my mouth opening and closing.

I decided to distract myself by looking into her eyes again. They really were very different from his. She has her mother's eyes, that with one look can intermediate you, but his was different. I can't put my finger on it, but his was definitely different from his mothers and sisters. I already miss staring into those eyes. **Why James? Why did I have to fall for you? Why did you make me fall for you? James, why? **I sighed and Jazz looked at me with worry and love in her eyes. My eyes started burning with unshed tears.

She immediately came in, shut the door and wrapped her arms around me. I let myself break down in Jazz's embrace. **I want him so badly to look at me like that and mean it**.

"Shh" she said as she rubbed circles on my back to calm me down "Do you want to talk about it?" she asked. I shook my head, not trusting myself to speak. She nodded her head in understanding.

"I'm sorry" I said after I calmed down and trusted myself to speak, yet my voice still came out raspy.

"Shh, there's no reason to be sorry" she said moving to the coach without breaking the hug "Just tell me who I have to beat up"

I smiled, remembering the day Jazz stood up for me back in Minnesota. I was being cornered by a bunch of angry jocks. Me, being myself, thinking that jocks weren't that smart, insulted there intelligence. Boy was that a mistake. Luckily Jazz was there to stick up for me, using her charm and sex appeal to save me. I never really liked her that much until that day, choosing only to tolerant her because she was James' sister. That day we went out for hot chocolate and just talked. I found out that my image of Jazz was totally wrong. She was actually kind, sweet and understanding. From that day onwards I spent almost all my time with Jazz instead of James, which I was thankful for. At that time I was still coming to terms with the new and strong feelings that suddenly appeared for James and I was thankful for the distraction.

"Logan?" Jazz said breaking me out of my memories.

"James" I said and Jazz's eyes narrowed.

"What did that idiot do now again?"

It had only been a few days after Jazz saved me that I told her about my feelings towards her brother. She was very supportive and told me that what I was feeling was nothing to be ashamed of and that she was there for me, but the next day when I went to visit her she was gone. Turns out she had left for private school, which led me to believe what she said was a lie. She never even said goodbye. But what hurt the most, even more then Jazz leaving without saying goodbye, was that James started distancing himself from me. That's when I came to the conclusion that Jazz must have told James, so I distanced myself from him too. We spent a whole week not talking, I hated it. Luckily for me Kendall brought us back together. Turned out Jazz hadn't told him, but to this day I don't know why he distanced himself from me or why Jazz left.

"Ok, seriously," Jazz said once again pulling me out of my memories "Stop that. What went down with you and James?" she asked breaking the hug. I laid myself down on the couch, my head on her shoulder. Her hands immediately started intertwining themselves in my hair. I told her everything, from the beach incident to Camille and James at the restaurant. I even told her about Emily. My eyes started closing and everything went dark before James' face filled my dreams, not even realizing I had fallen asleep.

* * *

**James' P.O.V**

I stood in front of apartment 2J, knowing Logan was there by the small light emanating from the bottom of the door. I put my hand on the handle and turned. **Please, Logan, forgive me**.

"Logan, I'm s..." I said as I entered the apartment, but stopped in my tracks when I saw Logan sleeping on the couch, his head on her lap. **Jazz**. I totally forgot that she was coming to visit. I don't know when she came, but she already had her manicured claws in my Logan. She looked up at me and smiled.

"Hey, bro" she said and I glared at her hands, which she followed and her smile widened. Her hands were intertwined in Logan's hair "My, my, aren't we jealous" I let out a low growl and she giggled, before her expression became serious "Listen, I left for private school for one reason only, because I was confused about my feelings"

"Wait, you actually feel things?" I said in mock surprise, interrupting her.

She smiled, ignoring me and continuing "I shouldn't have left, it was a mistake, but I see things are still the same, you being a chicken I mean of course. This time I'm going to stay and fight for Logan, and make him mine"

"Keep dreaming" I responded "Logan is mine"

She lifted Logan's head gently and got out from under him before placing his head on the couch. She walked towards me and placed her mouth to my ear.

"I don't have to dream about it, I'm going to make it a reality" she said before she left.

"Bitch" I said, but she was already gone.

I looked at Logan sleeping peacefully on the couch and smiled, but it soon disappeared. **Logan I want you to be mine, please say you will be mine and that you forgive me**. I quickly ran to my room and got a blanket. I placed it over Logan and kissed him on his forehead.

"Please be mine. Please still love me" I whispered.

* * *

**Logan's P.O.V**

"Ouch" I moaned as I fell onto the floor. I stood up and rubbed my sleepy eyes and looked around confused, before my eyes fixed on the couch. **Did I sleep on the couch? **

"Yes, you did" someone said, answering my silent question. I turned towards the voice, it was James. He was in the kitchen making scrambled eggs with a 'kiss the cook' apron. **You have no idea how much I want to kiss you. I think you've ruined me James Diamond**. I licked my lips.

Suddenly everything came back to me, the reason I slept on the couch. I looked away feeling tears starting to fill my eyes, but I fought them away and smiled. 'Be happy for him Logan, he's with Camille now. No matter how much it hurts you, be happy for him, and smile' a voice said in my head. **But it couldn't have been just me feeling this way. I refuse to believe that James doesn't feel the same. We had a moment at the beach and last night too. He even admitted he had feelings for me, so why would I believe his with Camille?** 'Because of what happened last night. You saw it with your own eyes, he was with Camille' **There has to be an explanation **'There is one, he's dating Camille' **No! He's not! Stop saying that!** 'Even if his not dating her, he hurt you Logan, on purpose' **I know. What do I do? **'Hurt him back' **I don't know how **'Ignore him, distance yourself from him, push him away' **I'll try**.

I went straight to my room and got some clothes, before heading to the bathroom, ignoring James for now. I took a quick shower, got dressed and brushed my teeth. When I was done, I exited the bathroom and headed to the kitchen. I sat at the table, smiling, not showing him how much I was hurting.

"What are you making?" I asked.

"Scrambled eggs and toast. Are you hungry?"

Just then the door bell rang. I got up to answer it. It was Jazz.

"Hey, Jazz, come on in" I said smiling and she smiled back.

"Hey" she came in and stood by the door. The apartment was quiet as if I was alone. **Oh, I see, you don't want to see your sister**.

"Have a seat" I said.

"No thank you. I actually came here to see if maybe you wanted to hang out today and catch up, it really has been to long since we spoke" Jazz actually seemed nervous.

"Of course" I said smiling. Suddenly there was a crash in the kitchen. I immediately ran into the kitchen, Jazz following, to check what had happened "James, are you ok?" I asked. He nodded his head.

"Yeah, I just dropped the plate" he said pointing to what was left of the shattered plate.

"James, are you sure you're ok?" I asked stepping forward; noticing James was shaking a bit. 'No, remember, he hurt you' the voice said in my head.

"Yeah, James, you seem a bit shaken" Jazz added.

"I'm fine" he said and looked composed again.

"Ok" I said pushing the feeling of worry away "I'm going to spend the day with Jazz" I said grabbing her hand, before taking my cell phone and wallet from the couch. I didn't even wait for James to say anything, because I knew, even though he hurt me, if he asked me to stay I would "So what do you want to do?" I asked Jazz, distracting myself, as we left The Palm Woods.

"Anything, as long as I'm spending time with you" she said releasing my hand and wrapped her hands around my arm. I smiled.

**I'm so glad Jazz is back**.

* * *

**James' P.O.V**

"What's with the noise?" Kendall asked coming out of his room "Some of us are trying to sleep"

"Sorry" I said cleaning up the shattered plate.

"You made breakfast?" Carlos asked surprised as he came out of his room too.

"Yeah, help yourselves"

"James, are you ok?" Kendall asked.

"No" I answered "No, I'm not ok. Jazz is back to steal my Logan from me and I think she might actually win. He hates me"

"I'm sure his doesn't hate you" Carlos said.

"Why wouldn't him? I hurt him" I said dropping my gaze to the floor.

"Hey" Kendall said "Look at me" I looked up "Do you love him?"

"Of course I do, what kind of question is that?"

"Then don't give him up without a fight, because I know for a fact Logan is definitely crazy about you"

"Even after what I did to him?"

"Even after that, because love doesn't just disappear"

"Love?" I asked surprised. **Logan loves me?**

"Yes, James, you idiot, Logan loves you. Come on you should know by now he loves you**"**

"I just want him to say it"

"Then don't let go, don't give him up without a fight"

"I won't" I said with new found confidence. **Get ready, Logan, I'm going to sweep you off your feet**.

* * *

**A/N: **Hey, guys sorry for the wait, but unfortunately I have some bad news. It's going to be a while till I update again, a few months at least. My finals are coming up and need to focus, so to all the people who are still reading this story I'm so sorry, but I am not done writing this story. After my finals I'll begin writing again.

Ok, guys, my friend has read this story and she thinks it's kind of boring and does not have enough drama. She has told me some things to add to the story, but if I do it will change the direction I wanted the story to go in. Now this is where all of you come in, I need your opinion. Do you agree with her? Does it need me drama?

Please review, whether you want to give me your opinion or yell at me.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Big Time Rush or the characters.

* * *

**James' P.O.V**

"So, what are you going to do now?" Carlos asked.

"I thought I made it pretty clear, I'm going to fight for him" I answered, determined.

"And how exactly do you expect to sweep him off his feet after you hurt him so badly?" Kendall asked raising an eyebrow.

"I thought you were on my side" I said taken aback "You were just talking about how I shouldn't give up without a fight"

"I am on your side, but have you thought of the repercussions? What would happen if it didn't work? Because sometimes love just isn't enough" Kendall said "What if Logan hates you?" he whispered, as if he didn't want me to hear.

I looked at him surprised and angry that he would bring that up, but mostly because he was voicing my concerns and fears, and I didn't like it.

"That's what I thought" Kendall said as he started walking away from me and towards Carlos, but stopped in his tracks.

"Don't assume things" I answered. I looked up and saw Carlos had tears in his eyes.

"Carlos, what's wrong?" Kendall asked stepping forward and opening his arms, but stopped when Carlos took a step backwards and shook his head vigorously.

"Do you t-think of the re-repercussions when you're with m-me?" Carlos asked in a small voice that was so different from the cheery voice I knew.

"Carlos" Kendall said as he tried stepping forward once again which caused Carlos to take off and flee to his room "Carlos, wait" Kendall said running after him.

Carlos slammed the door and locked it just as Kendall had his hand on the door handle.

"Carlos, please open the door" Kendall said knocking on the door "Please, talk to me"

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. I headed to the door and opened it, surprised to see Emily standing there.

"Oh, hey James" she said smiling "I just came to check up on Logan. Is he here?"

"No, his out with my sister" I said with so much venom it could kill a snake. She looked at me confused.

"Ok, then. So, anyway, it went well with Logan? You guys made up?"

"No, we didn't and now it's even worse than before" I said sighing in defeat.

"Well, I hope you're not giving up. You know what, I have an idea" she said walking away. She then stopped and turned around when she heard I wasn't following.

"Carlos, open up, please" Kendall said still knocking on the door.

"Are you coming?" Emily asked

"I guess" I said unsure. Carlos was hurting and he needed me, but maybe Emily's idea will be able to help me get Logan back. **If Carlos was here, what would he say?**

My cell phone vibrated in my pocket. I took it out and smiled. It was a message from Carlos, just one word 'Go'.

"How did he know?" I asked out loud. My phone vibrated in my hand. It read 'Because, I'm awesome'.

"You really are Carlos" I said placing my cell phone back in my pocket "Stay strong Carlos" I shouted towards his door where Kendall was still pleading him to open it. As I headed out the door Kendall gave me an angry, irritated look.

**Oh shit, he's going to kill me.**

* * *

**Logan's P.O.V**

"This was a great idea, Logan" Jazz said licking her chocolate flavoured ice cream.

"I know, right" I said taking a lick of my own vanilla flavoured ice cream as I enjoyed the cool sensation of the water against my feet.

"And so modest to" Jazz laughed "So James was making you breakfast and you decide to come with me, how come?"

"Because you're my friend" I answered simply.

"And James isn't?"

"You know I really love the beach" I said avoiding her question.

"Logan?"

"I love the smell and it's a great place to just talk. It's so romantic" I said lost in my thoughts "You know James and I had our first kiss on the beach, well it was more like the kiss of life" As soon as I said it I knew I was in trouble.

"That's good to know. So when I need you to spill your guts all I have to do is bring you to the beach? Got it"

"Y-Yeah" I said letting out a puff of relieve "It's a great place to talk" I said hoping she wouldn't bring him up and what I just said.

"So, tell me, what do you feel towards James?"

"I feel nothing; we are just friends and nothing more. I thought we were more, but" I said stopping mid sentence and mentally slapping myself. **And I over shared again**.

"Logan, it's quite obvious you have strong feelings towards James and that he shares those feelings as well. So why are you denying it?"

"Because he doesn't share my feelings and how can I blame him, I'm just Logan, plain old pal Logan. His so amazing, his eyes, his smile and the way he kisses" I sighed remembering the last time we kissed and wanting so badly to do it again "His amazing in so many ways, he even cooks! And I'm just plain Logan. I don't deserve him; he deserves someone just as great as he is"

Suddenly Jazz put her arms on my shoulders and stopped me, looking into my eyes. She sighed.

"You really do love him if you think you don't deserve him, if anything he doesn't deserve you. Logan, you are a great guy, you are funny, kind and hotter than the sun" she said laughing lightly and I joined in.

"I really do, Jazz, but he doesn't feel the same. His made that pretty clear by his actions" I said shaking her off and walking back to her car.

"Logan, just..."

"We better get going, it's getting late" I interrupted.

"Fine" she said as she got in the driver's seat and I took the passenger's seat.

"Logan" she said after a while. I looked at her and realized we haven't moved. I was so angry at Jazz that I didn't notice.

"Are we leaving or not?" I asked harshly.

"Logan, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you"

"I'm not upset" I said wiping a hand over my face, stopping with my hand over my mouth, and sighed "I'm just..."

"I know" Jazz interrupted "I promise no more James talk, please, just don't be angry with me" she said as she placed her hands on the steering wheel, hanging her head slightly. I placed my hand on hers and she looked up at me.

"I promise, I'm not angry with you, but the 'no James talk' rule is really appreciated" I said smiling and she smiled back.

"You don't really want to go home, do you?" she asked hopefully.

"Well," I answered "Not really"

"Great" she said excitedly "Do you want to come over to my apartment and hang out?"

"Sure" I said feeling myself getting excited as well, although I was also relieved. I hadn't thought about James when I was demanding to go home, even though the reason I wanted to leave involved him. I wouldn't have known what to do if Jazz dropped me at home and James was there. James would probably be out at this time, but I wasn't about to take that chance.

The sun was slowly setting filling the sky with pinks, purples and blues. The sound of the car's engine mixed with that of the beach- the waves crashing against the sand dunes, the seagulls squawking- as I watched the deep lights of the sky shimmering off the water, making it seem like a mirage. I found myself wishing I could be sitting on the beach in James' arms as we watched the beautiful mirage of colours. **James, I don't think I can trust you again after you hurt me like that. How can I trust you again?** That's when I came to the decision to ignore what the voice had said. James hurt me and I might not be able to trust him again for a long time, but I will not allow myself to hurt him as he did me. If I did that I wouldn't just be hurting him, I would be hurting myself as well. I watched the fleeting image of beauty as we rode away, making my final decision. I was going to try to be James' friend, just a friend, and nothing more. I know it will be hard, but I need to at least try, for our friendship, and Carlos and Kendall too. But if I was being truly honest with myself, it was because I couldn't bear not being near him. I couldn't bear not looking into those eyes and not seeing that amazing smile. **I want to trust you again, James, but how do I?**

* * *

**James' P.O.V**

"So, what do you think?" Emily asked as she fed me a chocolate covered strawberry. I took the whole strawberry in my mouth, my teeth scrapping against her fingers. This caused her to emit a sound between a scream of surprise and a laugh.

"Hmm, it tastes good" I said relishing the sweet taste of the strawberry mixed with the semi-sweet chocolate.

"I guessed that" she said laughing "If your expressions any indication"

"Are there any more left?" I asked hopefully.

"No, sorry" she laughed.

"Fine" I said pouting "I don't like you anymore"

"How come?" she said placing her hand over her heart and faked a hurt expression.

"'Cos you don't have any more chocolate covered strawberries" I said with puppy dog eyes, thinking she was holding out on me.

"Aww, come on James, I can't help that you ate them all"

"Yeah, whatever, just say you don't love me anymore"

"You are such an idiot" she said punching me lightly against the shoulder.

"Ouch" I complained as I rubbed the spot she punched me.

"Oh, shut up, that didn't hurt" she laughed.

I heard the leaves of the trees rustle as a wind blew, making the trees dance. I looked to Emily and noticed the goose bumps on her skin. She hugged herself and rubbed her arms furiously, trying to get warm.

"Getting cold?" I asked.

"A little" she said nodding.

I motioned with my hands for Emily to come closer and she did. I patted the blanket in front of me; she took the hint and sat in front of me, in between my legs. I wrapped my arms around her and she leaned backwards. **This is perfect**. I closed my eyes and listened to the rustling of leaves, enjoying the warmth.

After a while I spoke up. "Emily you were right" I said.

"Hmm?"

"Logan's going to love this place" At the mention of his name she broke the hug. I noticed a scowl on her face, but it soon disappeared. **I must have imagined it**.

"Yeah, I knew he would. It's the perfect date"

"Now I just have to figure out how to get him here. I don't think he would come if I asked him"

At first I didn't get it and then when Emily stopped at her house to get a blanket and a basket, I was even more baffled. We came back to the Palm Woods Park and then I got a small idea of what was going on, but I wasn't completely sure. 'It's a picnic' Emily had simply stated. She said she was walking in the park and found this perfect spot one day, and thought that it would be a great spot for a date. She brought the blanket and basket so that we could test out the place. At first I wasn't sure it was a good idea, I messed up really bad and I didn't think a picnic could fix it. It was a little awkward at first, but I soon became more comfortable around Emily. I could see now why Logan liked her so much, she's cool. So I imagined what my date would be like with Logan and Emily played along. We ate chocolate covered strawberries, ok I ate them, and we cuddled and just talked. It was great, except, even though I was imaging Logan it wasn't the same. Not that Emily wasn't a great Logan, she really seemed like she was enjoying it, but she just...wasn't Logan.

"Yeah, you're probably right"

I looked up at the sky and noticed the sun was hiding behind the trees, slowly lowering itself further behind them. The colours were amazing. The yellow aura of the sun just peaking at the roof tops of the trees, as the colours, pinks and purples, streamed across the darkening blue of the sky. **It's beautiful. I need to bring Logan to see this, he will love it**.

"Wow, it's getting late. I should get back"

"Yeah, ok" Emily said in a tone that made me think she was angry for some reason. I didn't ask, because if the girls at the Palm Woods were any indication, Camille in particular, you never ask, and I mean never. I was really rude to Camille the other night when I just left her at the restaurant. I need to make it up to her, not only because I was rude to her but because I used her.

The ride was quick and quiet, mainly because it was on the door step of the Palm Woods. The only reason we needed the car was because the picnic spot was quite deep in the park. I was thinking about ways to make it up to Camille, when Emily pulled me from my thoughts.

"James, we're here" I looked out the window and indeed we were.

I opened the door and got out, closing the door behind me and leaning against it the car.

"Thanks Emily, it was amazing" I said as I headed to the entrance of the Palm Woods and waved goodbye.

* * *

I opened the door to apartment 2J and found Kendall on the couch focused on something on the television. I shut the door and he still didn't look up. At first I thought he was still angry with me about what I said to Carlos, but then I noticed what was on the television. It was on the Discovery Channel. Now Kendall is quite smart, but I have never, in my whole life, seen him watch the Discovery Channel.

"Kendall, buddy, are you ok?" I asked as I took a seat next to him.

He looked at me, surprise evident on his face, as if he noticed me for the first time. It was a matter of seconds before the surprise turned to anger.

"No, of course I'm not fine. My boyfriend has hidden himself in his room and refuses to talk to me. How can I be ok, I ask you, James?" he said in one breath.

"Kendall, relax" I said, which was probably the worst thing to say.

"Relax, relax!" he said, his voice rising in volume "What possessed you to tell Carlos to stay strong. Stay strong!"

"It's not my fault you're an idiot"

"Excuse me!" Before Kendall could offer a response, Carlos came storming out of his room, shaking with...anger?

"Do not call my man an idiot! He's smart, good looking and an amazing kisser! And I would bet my lucky helmet that he is smarter than you, any day! So shut that big hole, you call a mouth!"

Kendall and I were both surprised at Carlos' outburst. Kendall was the first to recover and grinned at me, which caused me to glare at him.

"Thank you, babe" he said wrapping his arms around Carlos. Carlos quickly broke the hug and turned around still angry as hell.

"Don't you 'babe' me; I'm still pissed at you!"

Kendall physically recoiled, but not from Carlos' words but the look in his eyes. Even as he was yelling at Kendall, Carlos' eyes filled with tears. He tried his best to not shed a tear, and it worked, but you could still see the hurt in his eyes.

"I'm sorry Carlos. I don't think about the repercussions when I'm with you, that's the problem. When I'm with you I enjoy myself and you make me feel like I'm your hero, even though I'm far from it. When I'm alone I think about so many things like, 'what would I do if I lost you?' and 'how would I go on?' I love you so much that I'm constantly afraid I'm going to lose you and that someone better than me is going to steal your heart, and that scares me"

This time it was Carlos who initiated the hug, his tears falling freely now.

"I think about those things to Kendall and it scares me too. Because everything I said to James is true. You are a great catch, and I'm..." he said breaking the hug "...Just me"

"Yes" Kendall said turning Carlos to look at him "You are just yourself, but you are also my whole world and I love you"

"I love you too" Carlos said before Kendall's lips were on his. It was a sweet kiss. They both were smiling as they broke the kiss.

"Hey, guys?" They both turned to me "Can I ask a favour?" I asked a little nervous, because if they were to say no, what would I do? I didn't have a backup plan.

* * *

**A/N: **Hey guys. I know I said I wasn't going to write, because of my finals but I couldn't help it. I have a little break, this weekend, before I start studying for my finals and I decided to publish this chapter. I made it a little longer than the other chapters, in hope that you are still with me. It's also to say sorry for the long wait and the long wait that's still coming for the next chapter. I wrote mock exams- it's exams to assess if we are ready for the finals- so it was important I treated it as my finals. My final, finals is in about four weeks.

I would like to thank all for you that reviewed and that wished me good luck for my finals, thank you so much. You know what would be even better and put a big smile on my face? If you reviewed and told me what you think of this chapter, good or bad.


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